Saturday, August 6, 2011

I ate a whole package of cookie dough and started thinking…

I’ve been trying to eat healthy lately and it has been tough.  My wife eats ultra healthy but yells at me if I eat something she bought for herself.  My kids refuse to eat healthy all the time and we have company quite a bit so we always have snacks and other junk food available at arms reach.  I’m normally fine with that stuff.

Yesterday, however, was a different story.  We had several packages of Pillsburry Ready-to-Bake sugar cookie dough in the fridge that mom had given us to cook for the kids.  Well, anyone who knows me knows that I love cookie dough!  It is like my catnip or something.  Anyway, it was getting old and my wife said she was going to throw it out.  Anyone who knows me also knows that I don’t like to waste food.  I had to rescue it!

While I was packing my lunch for the day I went ahead and threw the cookie dough down in the bottom of my lunch box, hiding it like a teenage boy with a Hustler.  When I got to work I had planned on just eating a couple pieces and then throwing it away myself, but, well, ended up eating the whole package.  I felt like garbage for the rest of the day and even today my stomach is all sorts of messed up.

So I started thinking.  I wanted revenge on the little bastard for being so irresistibly delicious, but what to do?  Ah ha!  I would take the rest of the cookie dough and make a big Pillsbury doughboy likeness and cook him!  But then I thought, when cookies bake, they get golden brown and even more delicious looking so that would be counter productive.  This made me wonder, what kind of dough is the doughboy actually made out of?  Flour?  Cookie?  Pizza?

I turned to Google to try and find an answer but no one seems to know for sure what he is made of.  I did however find that others have gotten their revenge by looking at Google Images for “cooked Pillsbury doughboy”.

Then, my heart dropped and I was filled sadness when I found his funeral announcement.  Rest in peace little doughboy.

What do you think the doughboy is made of?  Any pictures of your own revenge schemes?  Let me know!


  1. John, you have some serious issues. They are going to study you like they did Robin Williams.

  2. I think we should make a cookie dough boy, bake in some iPhone batteries and try to blow him up. That might make a nice Youtube video;)